Finally finished Critical Role’s Vox Machina campaign. All 115 episodes. I can honestly say this is one of the most fulfilling nerdy series I’ve watched, matched only by Time Team. It’s been a large part of reigniting my passion in fantasy, writing, worldbuilding, and rediscovering the TTRPG community, which has grown leaps and bounds since my initial introduction in college, back in the 90s.

I honestly could not have predicted a group of voice actor friends playing Dungeons & Dragons on a streaming service would become a major part of my life. A lot of my life is different since earlier this year when I started watching on a whim, certain I wouldn’t make it past the first few episodes. Now I understand why people go to sports bars and cheer when their team scores. Now I understand the desire to cosplay and inhabit a world someone else has built. Now I understand spending months building intricate worlds and cities, and the desire to tweak and adjust a prebuilt something just to make it fit the story in your head.

I had a grasp of all of this when I was younger, a shy freshman in college into sci-fi and fantasy, introduced to D&D 2e with a new group of friends. I should say, “friends”, as the friendships didn’t last in what I now understand as patterns encouraged by an insular geek group that used social estrangement to justify toxic behavior. I shrugged them off, and put those books and joys aside in favor of what I thought of as more mature pursuits. Now I’m back in them, 20 years later, simultaneously engrossed and despondent at all the time I’ve lost, all the experiences I could have had.

But that’s why Critical Role, and the TTRPG space in general, has been so special. Where I’d normally feel out of step and hopelessly behind, the people in the space have been eager to welcome me back, patient in explaining changes and rules, pleased that I’m engaging with the space, and happy to let me come in at my own speed. When a community member breaks the rules or is revealed to be a problem, the community as a whole acts to contain and isolate the problem in a way that feels less a reactive social media ban-wagon and more putting values and virtues into practice. The CR stars, each and every one, seem like genuinely good people who aren’t faking their friendship or their joy, and in the other online spaces I’ve found, the same is true - genuine people working together for fun, play, and support.

In that space, I’ve begun updating old characters I created in the 90s. I’ve created notes on a hidden city of magic and wonder, challenged by a powerful cult that runs on mass surveillance and fearful propaganda. I’ve delved deep into Celtic and Greek mythology to rewrite two species (mostly) abandoned in previous editions. I’ve read dozens of fantasy books I missed in the past two decades. And in a few weeks (so I can catch up on a few movies friends are waiting to discuss with me), I’ll begin the Mighty Nein, and let that joy sustain and motivate me through 2024.