I feel amazing this morning because I walked away from a new interest.

I don’t want to get into what the interest was - this blog isn’t the place for it. It began as an evening’s way to occupy my mind while too sick do anything substantial. Soon it became a new obsession for my autism and ADHD to fiddle with, and I started to plan time to indulge it among my other responsibilities.

What I realized last night was it was starting to take over everything else. It had supplanted everything else I do - my hobbies, my plans, my interests outside of it. And it wasn’t making me feel good, either, nor was it leading to anything useful or necessary in my life. I was hunched over a screen micromanaging lists and repeating tasks, and paying money for the privilege, without feeling the joy and accomplishment that comes when I finish a good book, say, or finishing a movie trilogy. Hell, a terrible book left me feeling better than this interest.

Part of learning about my ADHD and autism has been accepting that it’s ok to have new interests that seem weird and may only be brief flashes in a pan. That’s how my brain works, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important that these aspects of myself help me flourish, though, and to walk away when they don’t.

So, I zipped everything into a folder, stashed it in my archive drive, deleted my browsing history and cancelled my accounts, then went to bed. This morning, my shower felt amazing, and this overcast day shines brightly through my windows. I’m going to tackle the rest of this work day, then settle back into my groove with interests that serve me. I’m almost done with The Well of Ascension; I hope I can finish it tonight!